Bad Ash: [punching Ash] You're just a goody little two-shoes, a goody little two-shoes, a goody little two...

[Ash takes his gun and shoots Bad Ash in the face.]

Ash: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.

Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouth braggarts?

Ash: Nope. Just me, baby... Just me.

Ash: Lady, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.

Supermarket witch: Who the hell are you?

Ash: Name's Ash. [Cocks rifle.] Housewares.

Ash: Maybe, just maybe, my boys can pull this off. Yeah, and maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.

Ash: Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with... molecular structures.

Ash: Gimme some sugar, baby.

Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.

Ash: Well hellooo Mister Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.

Ash: Groovy.

Ash: Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. This... is my BOOMstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel... and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!