Roger: We have clearance, Clarence.

Clarence: Roger, Roger.

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

Rex Kramer: Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. It's a dumb question... skip it.

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?

Captain Oveur: I can't tell.

Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.

Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.

Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?

Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.

Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Elaine: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.

Ted Striker: What is it?

Elaine: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

Randy: Can I get you something?

Jive Brother 1: Smo fo buttah layin' to the bone, jackin' me up...tightly!

Randy: I'm sorry. I don't understand.

Jive Brother 2: Cutty say he can't hang!

Jive Lady: Oh, stewardess. I speak jive.

Randy: Oh, good.

Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.

Randy: Would you tell him to just relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicene.

Jive Lady: Jes hang loose, blood. She gonna catch up on the rebound a da medicide.

Jive Brother 1: What it is big mama? My mama didn't raise no dummy; I dug her rap!

Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don' git no help. Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow!

Male PA announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.

Female PA announcer: No, the white zone is for loading. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Male PA announcer: The red zone has always been for loading.

Female PA announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading and which zone is for unloading.

Male PA announcer: Look Betty - don't start up with your white zone shit again! There is just no stopping in a white zone!

Female PA announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend? We both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion!

Male PA announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if it's done safely. Therapeutically, there is no danger involved.

Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

Elaine: A hospital? What is it?

Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Stewardess Randy: Excuse me sir, there has been a little problem in the cockpit...

Ted Striker: The cockpit? What is it?

Randy: It's the little room in front of the plane where the pilot's in, but that's not important right now.

Ted Striker: Surely there must be something we can do about it.

Dr. Rumack: There is something we can do about it. And please, stop calling me Shirley.

Clarence Oveur: Joey, have you ever seen a grown man naked?

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Flight Control: Flight 209 you're clear for takeoff.

Clarence Oveur: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

FC: LA departure frequency 123.9.

Clarence Oveur: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

Victor Basta: Request vector, over.

Clarence Oveur: What?

FC: Flight 209 clear for vector 324.

Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.

Clarence Oveur: Roger, Roger, what's our vector, victor?

FC: Now we're in radio clearance, over.

Clarence Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur, over.

Victor Basta: Roger.

Roger Murdock: Huh?

FC: Roger, over.

Clarence Oveur: What?

Roger Murdock: Huh?

Victor Basta: Who?

Old woman: Nervous?

Ted Striker: Yes.

Old woman: First time?

Ted Striker: No, I´ve been nervous before.

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.

Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.